Mawwiage

Please don't get me wrong when I say that if I had known marriage would lack this much lusture, I would have become the hood rat I had planned on back in 1999! Ha!

All jokes aside. There is nothing worse than sitting on the couch texting your sister on a Saturday night with my built in date right next to me. He'svery happy watching Man vs Wild with our little cutie pie Charlie, but what about me?

This wonderfully romantic man I met 11 years ago, is the most wonderful and caring husband a woman would want. He's a great provider, understanding, nuturing, loving, spoils the hell out of me and has the patience of a saint. Not sure which one, but I'm guessing it would be a collaboration of all of them, including a tad from God himself. The man has stood by me through EVERYTHING. I have no idea why or how he could have survived for this long? I guess just as I have. Only, he's not a pain in my ass.

I am indeed the pain in his ass and perhaps his entire being, I'm positive of this. Between mood swings, in and out of food addicting with binging and starving myself, right down to the outright tantrums for beautiful sparkly things. The tantrums were so 4 years ago. He is also tolerating my need to collect animals, to a point.

I sometimes sit next to the Mr. and just look at him and thank God above for sending him to me. Then again, I look at him and wonder why I was matched up with someone older than me, slower than me, and turned pretty much into a boring dude, like me. Ok, so maybe he's not that boring. This, my friend, rings true.

Marriage. It's wonderful being married, its just the boring stuff I didn't learn watching One Life to Live. The everyday poop duty, yard duty, the trash, dishes, making the bed, laundryyyyyyy. They never showed Vikki Buhcanan doing laundry? Na. She just walked around all day talking to family members wearing her expensive clothes. And when they did show a wedded woman with kids, she was still fancied up and waiting for her nanny or hubby to head home.

Nope, it can be as boring as going through the same website(fb) in the evening, taking that hot shower and using that awesome Nutrogena body scrub. Or it could mean you've gone to Target and bought yourself one of those quatro shavers you's wanted for soooo long but were to cheap to actually buy(deep breath)cause all of those closeout christmas decorations are just two isle over and it is far more important that shaving your legs, who's gonna see em anyway? Aaaaah. Wait! There is one more thing I totally forgot to list; it is the best sale ever when Tampax are on sale for 5 bucks instead of 7!! Woot! That's when I go to the book aisle and zone out.

One day I had an epiphany! This is what its supposed to be like. It's like hanging out with your best friend in your jamas without showering that morning. Its eating dinner at separate times, acting like a nut making over your pets, and yes, the final blow, tolerating the occasional tantrum. Turns out all of that romance one expects is living life with someone you are so ultimately comfortable with. Someone, even though he is a little boring and I probably am too, you love unconditionally.

It's not about all of the romance, sex and sex, oh and sex (ok maybe sex), for me its the intimacy of being together. The idea of being dedicated to one another enough to be together till he either leaves me in the middle of death valley or I relocate to NYC. Being able to tell him I really don't like him today for whatever reason. Him listen to me cry night after night. And I tell him the same thing over and over again til I have to call him by his name. It's comforting and feels great to know its all there on the table. Every bit of it. Except dirty underwear and socks. That's just not in the marriage contract...erm, license.